So many things have occurred this year. New people have come into my life. Old friends have reappeared in awesome numbers. Some I haven't seen in 10 years, others I haven't seen or talked to in nearly 20 years. It's truly amazing how everything happens at the perfect time. I continually fall in love with people, old and new. There are people I've met 6 months ago, and love them like I've known them for a lifetime. Then there are the people that I've had to cut loose from my life. Sometimes it's about loving myself more than I'm willing to let others hurt me. Friends don't just keep in touch with you when they have time. Especially those that have time for everyone else, but you. If you live close to those you love, I believe it's important to spend time with them. Tomorrow is never a guarantee.
This year has taught me appreciation, gratitude, thankfulness, and to always focus on my blessings. Of course this isn't easy, and I certainly have my moments. God is always faithful, and is always showing me just how blessed I am, not a moment to late. Where others might get discouraged and give up, I push forward. There are no other choices. There is no giving up. Nobody promised life was going to be easy, but everyday I see just how worth it, it is.
For a little over a year, I've followed a little 3 year old girls journey with Cancer. The strength and courage that God gives these little warriors is unlike anything I've ever witnessed before. The faith He gives their parents is something else that truly amazes me. I am so thankful for all of the healthy little ones in my life, and truly do not take a moment of their health or mine for granted.
I also survived a renovation!! It is wonderful to have wonderfully handy friends who will take the time out of their busy lives to help a friend. Who would have thought that I could actually hook up a garbage disposal and a dishwasher with hardly any assistance?! Not to mention, I'm still not quite sure how I was able to function without a working kitchen for almost a month. Doing dishes in my bathtub is something I hope to not ever have to do again. Who would have thought 40 gallons of water prior to Christmas 2009 could have spurred me on to paint my whole condo, redo the whole bathroom, put new carpet in my bedroom and living room, new flooring in my hall and kitchen (kitchen floors still not finished), new cabinets, counters and kitchen design, updated electrical, plumbing shut offs, and my home just full of junk. This was a total test of my OCD, which I passed!! Yay. Now if I could only muster up the courage to actually finish the flooring I'd be golden. I just dread having to turn my dining room and kitchen upside down while the flooring's being laid. The mess turns me into a hot mess!!
This year I've learned a bit about loss as well. Don't get me wrong, I've experienced quite a bit of loss in my young life, but for some reason this has been the year where loss has really resonated with me in a much deeper manner. The loss I speak of isn't just loss of lives. It's loss of those who have lost themselves while possibly dealing with loss, those who have lost a piece of themselves fighting for our great country, or those who have lost themselves while trying so desperately to find someone to fill a void within themselves. Experiencing and bearing witness to such things has always been the greatest teacher for me. A visual learner, who feels with my heart things that my mind can't always process, that's who I am. I want to heal, take away the pain, show everyone that this is only the beginning, and through this I'm still trying to figure out what my purpose is.
In 2011 I want to volunteer. I want to help, to hug, to hold, to give, to make a difference, even if just for a minute. The things I've seen have changed me and have filled my heart with compassion. Now that my eyes have been opened, I cannot pretend to be blind to what I have seen. This is going to be my year!
